Listen, bitch

Listen, bitch (Recent Work Press / Ampersand Duck, 2019)

The book Listen, bitch is a book about misogynist language. Many of the poems, including those below, are found-text assemblages, composed entirely of public statements nominated for Ernie Awards for Sexist Behaviour in their respective years. See The Ernies Book: 1000 Terrible Things Australian Men Have Said About Women (Meredith Burgmann and Yvette Andrews, Allen & Unwin, 2007). Many thanks to Meredith and Yvette, the Ernies founders, for permission to use their work in this way.

Buy a copy from the publisher here.

The research and writing of Listen, bitch was supported by an ArtsACT grant during 2018.


you don’t need a model

to work this one out     If you take out



and place it outside on the street

and the cats come and eat it

whose fault is it, the cats

or the uncovered meat ?  The GST

will greatly affect the workers of Australia

and their wives    hairy legged

femocrats   they will abort

a baby just because it is

inconvenient or summer is approaching

and they want to wear a bikini  there is

of course, nothing wrong with

a husband, faced with his wife’s initial

refusal to engage in intercourse, in

attempting, in an acceptable way, to

persuade her to change her mind and

that may involve rougher than usual

handling  sweetheart, you don’t need

a model to work this one out the simple solution

is to prohibit all females

from using these


Zero Sum

It's very unladylike to be yelling in the Parliament

Constant male bashing     It’s not

in our values     I’m a country guy so I know

Why would I vote for Malcolm in a skirt?

It’s not in our values to push some people down

to lift some people up. That is      how

to fly a plane, ride a horse, and

That is true of gender equality.

We don’t want to see women rise

only on the basis of others doing worse.

Men who feel rage as a result of the failure

of their mothers … are highly likely

to project that rage onto future intimate partners,

and often all women.     [I hope he’ll get] tough here

with a few backhanders…shove a sock

down her throat     False accusations of violence

being used to destroy men’s lives.

Just tell her you know where she lives

and leave it at that. Lol. She will flip

It’s not in our values    men having fewer rights

it ain’t a good look     We don’t want to see women rise

I’m a country guy so I know how to    feel rage

We're sorry. Removing the photo

sent the wrong message   about demonising men

Many of the comments …were reprehensible

& we'll work harder to ban trolls

from our pages.     Now that young lady

has a wonderful set of cahoonas

I’m a country guy so I know

how    to project that rage onto future

intimate partners    Lol. She will flip

I’ve had plenty of mates who’ve asked me

if they can     project that rage onto …all women

shove a sock down her throat

and leave it at that. Lol.

We don’t want to see women

We're sorry… & we'll work harder

(then you’ll no longer be able to attack)

It’s very unladylike to yell.